Merry and the Big Ginger Mog

(Image: Merry is sent home over night with the cannula in situ ... not something he relished)

Merry continued to cause dramas in the Garstang/Huffer household this week when he escaped from the garden and got into a fight with a big ginger moggy. Well, according to Robin who witnessed the incident, it was less of a fight and more of a hammering. As they say up north, Merry got twatted!

When Merry came home an hour or so later, he was limping but otherwise he seemed fine.

The following day, which was Tuesday, he seemed okay albeit a bit sore ... Wednesday his face was all puffy, he was sleeping a lot and was beginning to go off his food ... Thursday he wasn't eating or drinking at all (even his favourite snacks) plus he was lethargic and croaking instead of meowing ... Friday we whisked him off to the vets.

Turns out he had several injuries, including various deep puncture wounds and a gash across the back of his neck, which were slowly getting infected. With no sign of blood we had completely missed them. Anyway, after three days of antibiotics, a drip, various other medications and a spell in the hospital, we're happy to report he's back at home and resuming his role of Lord of the Manor with gusto ;-)

The Boys

I'd just like to say thank you so very much for all the words of encouragement that I've received from everyone. Your advice has been a huge help and I will definitely take it on board.

I think a lot of how I'm feeling has to do with my hormones at the moment and the life changes that are about to take place. That's why I won't be making any hard and fast decisions until our new lives - and routines - are well established. I will be a full-time stay-at-home-mom for six months (at least), which should be plenty of time for me to re-bond with the cats.

I do love Sam and Merry very much - and that's what makes it all so hard. I think it's probably a confidence thing too. I've completely lost faith in my ability to make them happy. I've lost my moggy mojo and this is something I need to work on.

Thank you again for all your words of encouragement. I shall give it my best shot.

It's been a while since I last wrote about the cats partly because I've been so chaotic at work, but partly because we have a baby on the way (human, not feline). If I'm not working in the evenings I'm prepping for the baby's arrival.

I guess the reason I am writing this post is because I don't know what to do. My relationship with the cats - in particular Merry - has completely broken down. I don't like him. I don't want him. He is greedy, sneaky, noisy and demanding. With Merry you give, give, give, give, give and get nothing in return - no affection, no nothing.

I just want to make it clear that I have had many cats over the years. I know that they're not like dogs. I know they're more independent. But Merry really isn't like any other cat I've had. For a start he's very intelligent. That's not a problem. The problem is he's cooped up all day long with hardly any stimulation!! I'd also be difficult if that was my life.

The biggest mistake we made with ours was keeping them indoors with only access to the garden ... yet we've never been able to dedicate enough quality time to playing with them to balance that out. It's so bad I sometimes dread walking in at night after work. The cat, quite rightly, is needy and demanding because he's probably bored and fed up.

It wouldn't feel so bad if I felt that Merry actually liked me. I'm miserable because I feed him, buy him things and make sure he's comfortable and never get anything back from him. I bend down to stroke him and he runs away. For the past two years I've been made to feel like a pariah in my own home. People tell me that he picks up on my feelings. Bollocks. Sammy never had a problem. And I certainly never felt this bad in the beginning. It's got to the point that if Merry actually lets me stroke him as he walks past I look at Robin with a 'did you see THAT' expression on my face.

Robin thinks I'm wrong about letting them out. He read somewhere that cats feel more secure when confined to a garden because they don't worry about other cats encroaching on their territory. Well try telling that to a lion in a cage in a zoo. And if it IS true, then why do out two constantly try to escape.

These days I mostly want to scream. I want to open the front door and watch them go. I get so frustrated it makes me cry. At the end of the day I just don't think it's fair to keep them inside. I never have found it fair. Yet I can't demand they go out because if they did and something happened to them it would be always be held against me.

Like most cats, the biggest threat to them is being run over. But I'd rather they be happy, engaged and active (with the threat of losing them) than miserable and cooped up. Particularly with a new baby on the way. I will be home full time and can't bear the thought of Merry yowling at me when I'm awake at 4am with a crying baby.

We don't even live near a main road.

I guess I shouldn't feel too guilty about how I feel. I don't mistreat them. Quite the opposite. Compared to Robin I have bought around 95% of their little treats and gifts over the years. I've also never abused them and have tried harder than most to develop a meaningful relationship with them. Plus, as humans we don't expect to get on with everyone we meet, so why should it be the same with animals. If Merry was a human I'd simply avoid him.

And to those who say; if she's like this with a cat what will she be like with a baby.? I say get a grip. You can't reason with a cat - ever. After 16 or 17 years you still can't reason with a cat. Babies and cats are different. End of story. Plus it's not all cats. It's our socially inept Bengals.

Ultimately I want them to be happy. But I don't think it's fair for me to feel unhappy in the process. And unhappy is putting it mildly.

Dreaming of being Super Mogs

Tell me my boys aren't cute when they sleep ...

The sound of silence

Around three months ago, Merry started yowling. And I mean YOWLING. Night and day, day and night, it was like having a baby in the house. Waaaaah, waaaaah! At 3am, 4am, 5am, 3pm, 4pm, 5pm and every hour in between.

And as many of you know, there's nothing you can do to console Merry as he dislikes being physically handled. You bend down to stroke him and he runs away like you're about to beat the life out of him.

After a couple of months it was beginning to seriously do my nut in! Particularly as he always HAD to have the last word. You'd tell him to shut up and he'd meow. You'd say shh and he'd meow. You'd say MERRY in that deep you're in trouble unless you shut up tone and he'd wait a few seconds and then you'd hear an almost inaudible meow. LAST WORD LARRY!!!

It got to the point where I was seriously considering sending him back. After explaining to Robin how stressful I was finding the situation, we decided on a three prong approach to solving the problem:

1. Totally ignore Merry's meowing. Do not respond in either a positive or negative fashion.
2. Give both cats access to food 24/7 using a gravity biscuit feeder.
3. Play with the cats at least once a day until they're tired out.

And guess what? So far it's worked. We saw an almost instant change in Merry, who has stopped moaning morning, noon and night. He is still a vocal cat, but only in as much as we'd expect him to be vocal i.e. moaning when we lock the cat flap at night and when we go to bed.

I do think food has a lot to do with it, and Merry has definitely put a little weight on, but I'd rather have a plump and happy cat than a slim and miserable one. And with the baby coming in five months time, I just want a cat that's not driving me insane.

Sam's Obsessed

Oh no. Sam has become addicted to Da Bird. I kid ye not. He is obsessed. All day every day he is pining for it. I said 'no' to him the other night and he actually made a sad little hiccupy noise in his throat. Rob and I were gutted for him. And this evening, when Rob said no, Sammy got in a really bad mood and took a swipe at Merry (he's like a drug addict going cold turkey). I suspect we're going to have to try and wean him off it.

Wish us luck!

Okay, okay ... here's the non touched-up version!